"I am weak."
I feel we have all thought this at some point. At least we, the simple folk who live day by day. Maybe not, maybe I'm alone in that thinking? We all have our vices, I feel. And mine... well, they are videogames. And chocolates.

You'd think such simple things wouldn't be able to get in the way of much. I've thought so too at various times. And again and again I have proven myself wrong. Chocolates make me sick. I am lactose intolerant, so anything with milk in it ruins me pretty badly. Specially since I'm a shut in, I feel is even more dangerous to eat unhealthy. So I never buy them. I make a point to keep them away from me... but my roomies don't. So when they buy chocolates I take a bunch. Last Xmas my roomy got me a FULL SOCK STOCKING of candy... and chocolates. I was sick the next morning.

"Why don't you control yourself?" you may ask. I dunno. My only way to control is with absence. And while is easy to keep sweets at bay my next addiction isn't as easy.

Videogames.

Ever since I could play them I have been fascinated with videogames of all sort. Platformers, RPGs, Adventures, Puzzles, Fighting, MOBAS, RTS, Rogue-likes. I love any kind of game as long as it is fun and easy to play, and out of the ordinary. It doesn't matter the company, the platform, the creators. A good game is a good game. And I'm always looking for the next big adventure. Be it some drama filled story or a busy skinner box grindfest.

But I shouldn't be playing them... as much. Most of my life has been spend playing them. I was never disciplined to have control. So during school I would play them. During work I'd play on the bus or on breaks. While at home I'm usually stressing on what to play next. What adventure to complete. Specially if I can share those adventure with people, I don't even care which game it is. I will at least try to play it with others.

I've lost so much time playing and not growing, not making. My addictions, like many addictions, have crippled me in subtle ways. I've always done just enough to get by, so I could go back to my distraction. I wonder what kind of person I would be if I could stop.

If I was stronger.

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